The thought or idea of even quitting sugar made me nervous/scared/stressed- I was so emotionally attached to it. That's what ENJOYMENT was! But really it wasn't. It was a ball and chain - a heavy ball and chain. It got to the point where I was no longer in control; sugar controlled me. I needed it every day and I couldn't stop once I started. Every day I felt bad- physically, and emotionally I'd beat myself up for lack of self control. So I decided enough was enough. My mom was in town and I asked her how long she's gone before without sugar. She replied, "I don't know, I've never tried." So I asked her if she wanted to... and so it started. It has been 3 weeks. (I know, not that long.) But it's a mini success. I'm not searching/waiting for my next fix or feeling deprived or sorry for myself. It just 'is'. For some reason, making a "pact" was just what I needed to stop -to be accountable to someone... I was able to 'detach' myself from the emotional chains sugar had on me. I started feeling great -and continue to feel great and don't want to go back! (I have to keep telling myself that) Yes, I've been tempted -like tonight when I made my boys ice cream cones and the ice cream got all over my fingers... but I knew how I've been feeling was worth not going back. Yes, I've had the internal dialog with myself about how every-once-in-a-while shouldn't hurt. And in reality, it SHOULDN'T and really doesn't, but I'm not at that point in my life. How I interpret it, the Word of Wisdom was for the "Weakest of all Saints"- For those that weren't able to use moderation, (and those that were humble) so it was better to abstain. That's kinda where I'm at with sugar. I am unable to use it in moderation- so I've been feeling like it's just better to kick that habit. And that took YEARS to 'emotionally' get to this point and be willing to do it.
In the past, I've hosted numerous Wellness Challenges that have 10 daily habits to 'do' or not do. Abstaining from sugar, junk food etc. was part of that 12 week challenge. With that said, one day a week was a 'free day'. Oh, what a horrible phrase. I would equate free day to literally going crazy ALL day. I pretty much negated everything good I had done that week in one day- because more often than not there was little to no moderation. I would overeat on the sweets on my free day. I would obsess all week about what I was going to have on my free day. My free day was usually on a Sunday, and so I got into this horrible pattern/habit of always making a dessert on Sunday, well after the challenge was over. What a bad habit to take away from a well-meaning challenge. So, I'm pretty much 'over' the 'free day' concept. Doesn't work for someone like me. I know I negated everything good I had done, because now, not having sugar for 3 weeks (I did have cranberry sauce and pickled beets on Thanksgiving) it's crazy how the muffin top has just shrunk. 4lbs. in 3 weeks. Not too shabby for not trying -It's a great bonus to feeling GREAT.
Several things that have kept me going have been reading blogs and listening to podcasts. Constantly being reminded of goals, and listing to like-views ensures success! With that said, the little health knowledge I thought I had has been rocked, and I am starting to question everything... Which is the right way?! I'll share what I mean in a future post. Beauty sleep awaits!